Reasons Behind the Frown
by Elfsong
Summary: Ryuichi notices something strange about Yuki and Tatsuha's relationship. While Yuki explains, the reasons he never appears happy are given. Slight AU. Doesn't follow the manga or anime very well.
1. Noticing Something New

A/N: Okay, this is my first attempt at a multi-chapter Gravi fic. Please be patient with me, I'm still working out the characters. Also, I don't know if some of the characters will be portrayed correctly or not, and I know for a fact that certain relationships are being changed in this fic. So, I guess this is a kind of AU type of thing. This idea came to me when I was thinking about Yuki's mother. Where is she? And was she pretty? I mean, look at her kids! Her husband's a bald old guy, so she must have been the one with the looks. Anyway, on to the story.

~

"Hi, Tatsuha. Ryuichi."

"Hey Aniki. How are you?"

"Fine. I already ordered your drinks, so you don't have to worry about that."

"Thanks." The four men were gathered in a small diner in Tokyo. The two more energetic ones were in the middle of an avid conversation concerning the merits of the color pink on various different items. The other two smiled at their lively counterparts and began their own discussion, theirs concerning more mundane topics such as the other's state of well-being since they last saw each other, and the foolish things their lovers had done in the aforementioned time period.

"Have you been to see Father lately?" The blond man asked. The black-haired one shook his head in the negative. Yuki Eiri nodded in response to his brother Tatsuha's reply. Ryuichi, the child-like man who had come in with Tatsuha looked up at the two of them, causing the pink-haired one to look up as well.

"I just noticed something," Ryuichi stated matter-of-factly. The table's other three occupants stared at him, surprised by how serious he sounded. "You two don't behave like normal brothers should." Yuki raised his eyebrows slightly at that comment, but allowed Tatsuha to question the vocalist of Nittle Grasper.

"What makes you say that?"

"You always talk to each other so formally when there are people around, but when we get you in a room together, you act like you're either friends or mortal enemies. And you talk about weird things. You sound like a father and son, not older brother and younger brother." And, having said his piece – and realizing that a large bowl of strawberry ice cream was headed towards their table – Ryuichi turned his attention from the brothers' behavior. Shuichi, however, was not so easily distracted.

"He's right, you do act a lot like you're in a parent-child relationship."

"That could be because Eiri's the one who raised me."

"What?" Yuki put his head in his hands. There was no way they would escape this outing without being told what was meant by that statement. He had hoped that he wouldn't have to tell Shuichi about how he and Tatsuha were raised, but thanks to one of Ryuichi's random spurts of perceptiveness, he had no choice.

"Can we not talk about this here?" Yuki asked before Tatsuha could explain the situation. The other two nodded, and the brothers both sighed in relief.

~

"Okay, we're home, now could one of you explain?" Shuichi asked the moment they had all entered the house. After eating, they had decided to head home. Normally, Yuki would have been glad about that, but today, he was not looking forward to the topic that was coming up. Yuki and Tatsuha exchanged looks before Tatsuha started again.

"Eiri is the one who raised me."

"You've said that. I wanna know what you mean by it." Ryuichi turned his large eyes up to Tatsuha, and even if he had wanted to the sixteen-year-old couldn't deny him what he asked.

"I don't think it's really my story to tell. Besides, Eiri knows more about it than I do." Yuki couldn't help but give his brother a dirty look. He then turned on his heel and walked to the kitchen. Shuichi watched him leave, then turned a smile onto the guests.

"You can stay the night tonight." That said, Shuichi headed after the moody novelist. "Yuki? What's wrong? It can't be something you're ashamed of, can it?"

"It's not that I'm ashamed of it, I would just rather not talk about it."

"Oh."

"Do you really want to know?" Yuki asked, sounding sincerely curious.

"Yes," Shuichi mumbled, not wanting to upset the older man.

"Then I'll tell." Yuki sounded upset about it, but resigned. He walked into the living room and saw Tatsuha and Ryuichi making themselves comfortable on the couch. "What are you two still doing here?"

"Shu-chan invited us to stay the night. Wasn't that nice of him?" Ryuichi beamed at Shuichi and Yuki, pretending to be oblivious of the anger in Yuki's eyes. Tatsuha, however, was more worried about keeping his brother happy at the moment.

"You don't mind if we stay, do you?" he asked, using the voice that had worked on his brother from the moment he had learned to ask for things. It had yet to fail him, and this was no exception. Yuki slumped onto the couch in defeat and welcomed Shuichi onto his lap.

"No, you can stay. Just keep in mind that Shuichi will be cooking tomorrow morning."

"I thought you cooked breakfast?" Ryuichi asked, remembering Tatsuha telling him how good Yuki's breakfasts were.

"I normally do, but I plan on being asleep at that time."

"What, do you plan on getting worn out tonight?" Tatsuha asked, winking suggestively at his brother. Yuki didn't rise to the bait.

"Yes. I don't particularly like the memories I'll be sharing tonight, and talking about them usually ends up wearing me out."

"I thought you'd never told anyone about it," Tatsuha commented. Yuki offered him a strained smile, proving that even Shuichi had not fully succeeded in opening the blond up.

"Mika and Tohma made me see a few psychiatrists. I had to tell them to get them to leave me alone. They wanted every detail, too. I slept for a week after each visit with them because they drained me so much."

"Is that why they haven't made you go back?" Tatsuha asked. Yuki nodded.

"Do you want to hear about it, or are we going to spend all night talking about the results of it?" Yuki asked, earning startled and shocked looks from the room's three other occupants. "I want to get it over with or not tell at all. It's your choice."

"We'll let you tell," Shuichi told him quietly. Yuki hugged him to let him know that he wasn't really angry. Shuichi squeezed Yuki back, offering support even through his curiosity.

"Our mother died when Tat was born. It was a hard birth for her, and she died less than two hours after Tat was born. We were all upset about it naturally, but we didn't know what to do. And there was a new baby in the house. When she died, I was six. Mika was about fourteen, maybe a little older. Our father kind of went into shock, and we were all grieving. Each of us buried our grief under or in something. We his from it in one way or another.

"Father buried himself in Shrine duties. He ate out of necessity, and slept only when he collapsed from exhaustion. For a long time, he started to forget he even had children. Mika started going to her friends' houses more often, until eventually she only came home if I found out which house she was at in time to ask her to come home. She was at a different person's house every day. By the time a month had gone by, all of her stuff was at someone else's house.

That left only me, by myself. Before that time, when I didn't want to think of something, I would go to Mika or my mother. Neither of them was there, and I didn't want to have to think. Even though I was six, I realized that the baby not only had to be taken care of – and named – but would take a lot of energy and attention. I thought that I could keep from thinking about things if I took care of him. No one else seemed to care about either of us, and I didn't want him to die, so I decided that I would raise him. Or, I would until Father or Mika remembered us."

()() Sixteen Years Earlier ()()

"So, the first thing to do is name you. Mommy's name is Tatsuhane [1]. I'll call you Tatsuha for her since you're the last piece of mommy we have. I made the formula stuff for you, Tat-chan, so you better eat it this time." The tiny child smiled proudly as he held his infant brother. The baby was eating what he had prepared for him, and he hadn't eaten what Oneesan had made. Maybe Tat-chan liked him?

After eating, the baby smiled up at his older brother before falling asleep. The child, Eiri Uesugi smiled back as he gently lay his baby brother in his crib. Thankfully, their mother had set up everything that was needed before she died. Eiri spent the next few minutes rubbing the baby's back before crawling into his own bed. Before he fell asleep, he looked over at the crib and the sleeping baby inside. "I promise I'll take care of you, Tat-chan. You're gonna be loved, so please don't die on me. You're all I have left. I promise I'll be good and take care of you." After promising things to the baby that no other six-year-old even thought of, the child fell asleep. He still held to that promise even when Tatsuha woke him up at two in the morning.

~ To Be Continued… ~

A/N: So, what did you think? I know I changed a lot around, and I probably put them a lot out of character, but that was how they needed to be. I don't know Mika's actual age, but this puts her a year younger than Tohma, so it still works in my mind. Tatsuhane Uesugi is my own creation even though technically she had to have existed at some point. I've never heard anything about her, though, so I'm claiming how she ends up in this story and her first name.

Please review and let me know what you think? If it's good, or if it's bad. Of course, if you flame, I'll never continue it and you'll never see what happens next, so… yeah… please be kind.

[1] – It's actually Tatsu (dragon) and Hane (feather; wing) put together. I thought it would fit. 


	2. Learning About the Past

"This is Tat-chan!" Eiri said proudly, introducing the one-year-old to their older sister. Mika looked down at the child and smiled slightly. It had been a year, and this was the first time she had ever seen her baby brother outside of the hospital.

"Tat-chan?" she asked skeptically.

"Hai! It's short for Tatsuha. I named him for Mommy."

"You named him?"

"Hai!"

"Why?"

"'Cause you and Daddy didn't. Wanna hold him?"

"Sure." Mika held her arms out, but the moment the baby left Eiri's arms, he started screaming. Eiri and Mika both winced, and Mika hurriedly handed the baby back to her younger brother. Tatsuha's crying ceased instantly. "I don't think he likes me."

"Maybe he just doesn't know you?" Eiri suggested, rocking the baby in his arms.

"Maybe."

~

"Tat-chan! Tat-chan? Tat-chan, where are you?" Eiri began to panic when he still could not find his brother. Soft giggling to his right told him where the toddler was hiding, and his relief was etched across his features. "Tatsuha, don't do that! I was scared! That was very mean of you."

The two-year-old hung his head and stared at the ground. "Gomen, Aniki," he sniffled. Eiri knelt down and hugged him.

"It's okay, but you'd better hurry, or we'll miss Oneesan's wedding and everyone will be mad at us." It had been two years since Eiri had made the vow to care for and raise his younger brother. Eiri had turned eight not lone before, and Tatsuha was two. Mika was sixteen, and had accepted Tohma Seguchi's marriage proposal. Their father was proud of her, and had taken time from his shrine duties to attend the wedding.

"Hello, who are you?" Eiri looked into the smiling blond's face and hid Tatsuha behind his back. "I'm Eiri. Who are you?"

"Hello, Eiri. I'm Tohma. Your brother-in-law." Tohma continued smiling, even though he was concerned about Eiri's reluctance to open up to him, or to let him see the dark-haired child behind his back. "Who is this?" Tohma asked, indicating the toddler. Eiri moved so he was between his brother and his sister's husband. The older boy seemed nice enough, but so had Daddy.

"That's Tatsuha. He's my brother. We gotta go now. It was nice to meet you." Eiri turned and walked away, gently pushing Tatsuha forward as well. Tohma was about to follow when he felt a presence at his side. He turned and saw his friends Ryuichi and Noriko talking to his new wife. Standing next to them was their American friend, K. None of them knew his real name, but they knew he had a wife, and that he was a secret service agent for America. Tohma walked over to the group, struggling to bring up his usual smile.

"What's wrong, Tohma?" Noriko asked. At fourteen, she was already showing signs of becoming a great beauty. The others turned their attention to him and he grinned, shaking his head.

"Nothing really. I just met my new brothers, and I can't help but wonder what's with Eiri-chan."

"What makes you think something's wrong?" Mika asked, worry and defensiveness struggling for control in her voice.

"Just the way he responded to me. He stayed between me and Tatsuha-chan the entire time, and it looked like he thought I would hit him."

"Oh, he's still just getting used to our mother's death. He'll grow out of it. He is only eight after all," Mika answered, dismissing the worry. K was the only one who saw the two children standing in the corner of the room, the fair-haired one cleaning his little brother up and acting too responsible for a child his age.

~

"I'm just saying that it might do some good if I took him!"

"And what, husband of mine, do you expect to happen to Tatsuha? You know the two of them have a strong bond. It would kill him to have Eiri taken away!"

"He'll survive, He'll be starting Preschool soon anyway, so it's not like he can't use the practice."

"He has practice! Eiri does go to school! However, they always see each other after school!"

"Do you really think it's such a bad idea?" Tohma asked. Mika wilted onto the bed, shaking her head in the negative.

"No, I just have a bad feeling about it. Tatsuha loves him so much. I mean, it's normal for children to look up to older siblings, but Tat-chan absolutely adores Eiri."

"I'm sure he'll be okay. Besides, I still need to get your father's permission before I take a ten-year-old to America."

~

"Tat-chan?"

"Hai?"

"Gomen."

"For what, Aniki?"

"Daddy says I have to go to America with Tohma. I can't take you with me."

"But- "

"Daddy already said he would take care of you, and he does a good job when he doesn't remember Mommy. You'll be okay, and I'll be back in a year."

"That's when I'm a whole hand big?" [1]

"Yeah. You'll be five."

"Do you have to go?"

"Yeah, sorry."

"But you'll come back?"

"Of course!"

"Promise?"

"I promise, Tat-chan. I'll come back."

()() Present Time ()()

"Is that when you met Yuki?" Shuichi asked. Yuki nodded. Tatsuha and Ryuichi were quiet. Ryuichi because he remembered Tohma's wedding, and Tatsuha because he was hearing things that he had never heard before. He hadn't known that grief was what made Eiri first start to take care of him, but it made sense.

"Father still hadn't started taking care of us?" Tatsuha asked, not remembering much of that time period.

"No. He didn't start taking care of you until after I left. He's never taken care of me, though. If you remember, when I first got back, it was Tohma that actually made sure I was okay, and you're the only one who could get me to live."

"What do you mean 'live'?" Ryuichi asked.

"When I first got back from America, I was in shock. I only ate when someone forced me to, and I only ever talked to Tatsuha. I stopped talking at school, and I never said a word to anyone but Tat until about a year after I got back. Tatsuha was about six by that time, so he might be able to remember a little more of what happened.

()() Ten Years Earlier ()()

"Aniki? Aniki, please eat this! I know it's your favorite, I watched you make it before you left!" Eiri turned dead eyes to Tatsuha, and numbly held the bowl. He looked down and stared at the chocolate, not really seeing it. "Aniki, say something! Please, anything! Just don't leave me again." Eiri looked back up at his brother. Tatsuha was crying, begging him to talk. Eiri moved over to sit next to Tatsuha and put a hand on the younger child's shoulder.

"I'm still here Tat-chan, but it hurts. It hurts so much. I'm here, but I'm dead. Eiri's dead."

"What are you saying, Aniki?"

"I… Something happened when I was in New York. Something I can't tell you about right now. Gomen, but I can't talk about it to anyone."

"I don't wanna know what happened in New York, Aniki. Can you talk about something else?"

~

"I'm not Eiri anymore." Everyone in the room stared at the twelve-year-old in shock. He had just spoken for the first time in a year. No one in the room knew about his and Tatsuha's private conversations, so they didn't know that he talked nearly every night. Tohma offered the child a small smile that Eiri did not return.

"If you're not Eiri anymore, then who are you?" Tohma asked him, as if speaking to a very small child who had no idea what he was saying.

"I'm not Eiri Uesugi anymore. I'm Yuki Eiri." Tohma's smile froze at the name that only he and Mika recognized, but the smile still stayed in place until the child's next words. "Please don't call me Eiri anymore Seguchi-san." Eiri had never felt comfortable enough to call Tohma Oniisan, but until that time, he had never been so formal with his brother-in-law.

The others gathered in the room stared at Tohma, not knowing what kind of reaction to expect. They had been discussing business and what to do about Eiri, because the child's teachers had been sending home complaints concerning his lack of social skills. In the room at that time were Tohma and Mika, Ryuichi, Noriko, K, and Mika and Eiri's father. A year prior to taking Eiri to New York, Tohma and his two friends had formed the band Nittle Grasper, and a year later, K had become their manager.

"You can't just change your name," Eiri's father told him. Eiri stared at the man in defiance.

"Why not? It's my name, isn't it?"

"You can't change your name!" The shrine owner towered over his son, shouting. The blond child continued to stare at him, seemingly unaffected by his father's voice and threatening stance.

"Daddy?" The tiny voice brought all the attention in the room toward it. Tatsuha stood in the doorway, looking like he was about to cry.

"What is it, Tatsuha?" he asked, walking towards his youngest child.

"You aren't gonna hit Aniki, are you?" His innocent question stopped everyone in the room.

"Why would you think I was going to hit him?"

"Because you looked really mad and your hand was above his face."

"I wouldn't hit him."

"Yeah, Tat. Father would never hit me," Eiri reassured his younger brother. "I almost wish he would, though." And with that said, Yuki walked out of the room.

~

A/N: Yeah, I'm kinda leaving you hanging there, but I'm getting tired and I still have stuff to do tonight before I can go to bed. Don't worry, I will explain that comment in a later chapter (if I remember writing it! ^^) Please review and let me know if you thought it was good or bad or if it just needed a little more work.

[1] – I heard a kid say this once. You know how they measure how old they are by the number of fingers they hold up? Well, there's five fingers on a hand, so…

Oh, and if their ages get confusing, in the first flashback scene, subtract sixteen years from everyone's ages. (I'm making Mika 30 in the present time.) When Tat-chan is two, subtract fourteen years from everyone's age. In this chapter, subtract ten years from everyone's age. That's all.


	3. Seeing Through the Mask

"Mika, I don't mean to sound rude, but Eiri's changed a lot."

"I know. He doesn't want to be called Eiri anymore, either." Mika sighed quietly and returned her attention to the glass in her hand. She, Tohma, Noriko, K, and Ryuichi were sitting in a bar talking. After about an hour, the topic of conversation had come to Eiri. The thirteen-year-old still refused to answer to Eiri, and he still insisted on calling Tohma 'Seguchi-san'. But he had also begun calling Mika 'Mika-san'. She could still remember when he was a small child and would call her Mikarin.

"What does he want to be called again?" Ryuichi asked, looking up from the white bunny he held in his hands. [1]

"He won't answer to anything but Yuki. I still call him Eiri sometimes, but he doesn't respond to it."

()() Present Time ()()

"I remember that conversation!" Ryuichi exclaimed, hugging Kumagoro. "Eiri-chan wouldn't be nice to Mika-chan and Tohma!"

"How old were you, Ryuichi?" Tatsuha asked.

"How old was Ryu-chan, Kumagoro? Twenty-two? Okay!"

"You didn't answer to Eiri?" Shuichi asked, craning his head to look at Yuki's face. The blond man nodded and sighed, leaning into Shuichi slightly.

"After about two more years had passed, when I was fifteen, I stopped being Eiri. Everyone had begun to call me Yuki, especially when I didn't answer to anything else. Tat-chan was the only person who could still see Eiri behind Yuki. Does that make any sense at all?"

"Of course it does. I think it means something like he was the only one who could still see the real you behind the mask you hid behind."

"I guess so. Tat was nine at the time, and our father had started to play a bigger role in his life. He still came to me for anything he really needed help with, though."

()() Seven Years Earlier ()()

"Aniki?"

"What is it, Tat-chan?"

"Could you help me with this?"

"What is it?" The blond teenager stood up and walked over to the table where his brother sat. The teenager removed his glasses and set his book down, making him seem slightly more approachable. His eyes, though, were still hard enough to keep most people away from him.

"I don't understand, Aniki. It's too hard!" The dark-haired child stared at Yuki with tear-filled eyes. He had spent the past hour on the same math problem and still had no idea how it was supposed to be done. Yuki sat down next to him and picked up a pencil.

"I'm better at Writing and Grammar, but this doesn't look like it should be too hard. I'm sure we'll figure it out." Yuki smiled at Tatsuha, showing one of his rare glimpses of his true self, the self that was being buried more each year.

Within twenty minutes, Yuki had figured out and explained the problem to Tatsuha, and the younger boy was halfway done with his homework. Yuki was once again curled up on a large chair reading. There was another thirty minutes of silence while the boys were absorbed in their own pastimes. Then Tatsuha broke the silence.

"Aniki? What are we doing for Christmas this year?"

"The same thing we do every year."

"Try to take over the world?"

"You've been watching the Animaniacs too much lately."

"Yeah. So, we're just going to spend the day here?"

"Yeah, and Mika and Seguchi-san will be coming over to visit, and they'll probably bring the rest of Nittle Grasper and K with them."

"What do you want for Christmas this year?"

"Amnesia?"

"What's that?"

"It's where you forget everything."

"Why would you want to forget everything?" Tatsuha asked quietly.

"Remember what I told you about last month? The thing with Kitazawa-sensei?"

"Hai."

"I wanna forget that."

"Oh. I don't think I can get you that."

"Then how about chocolate?"

"Chocolate puffs and milk?" Tatsuha suggested. Yuki laughed and nodded.

That Christmas, Nittle Grasper and Co. did come over and visit. Ryuichi passed out candy and cards (that he had colored himself) to everyone, and then everyone else handed out their own gifts.

"Ryuichi-san?" Tatsuha asked timidly, holding a small bag behind his back. Ryuichi looked up and grinned at the boy happily. He had always liked Mika's youngest brother, he was just so cute!

"Hai? What is it, Tatsuha-chan?" Yuki was still the only one permitted to call Tatsuha by his nickname at that time.

"I got something for you." Tat shyly held out the gift bag, and Ryuichi's eyes lit up brightly. He took the bag from Tatsuha's hands and carefully opened it. Inside he saw a pink, stuffed bunny. "It's from me and Aniki. I picked it out and Aniki paid for it. I hope you like it, even though it's not white like your other one." Ryuichi's white bunny had met with an unfortunate end when it met the jaws of a dog while Nittle Grasper was performing at a park one day. Ryuichi had been devastated, and since he had a slight crush on the vocalist, Tatsuha had immediately begged Yuki to help him get a replacement.

"I love it, Tatsuha-chan! Arigatou! Demo, what should I name him?" Ryuichi and Tatsuha stared intently at the stuffed animal as if expecting the creature to tell them its name. "I got it!" Ryuichi crowed. "This is Kumagoro." Everyone in the room made the appropriate reactions and noises following this announcement, then they watched as K walked over to Yuki and sat down next to him on the couch. Ever since the child had returned from America, he hadn't been very festive, and he usually ended up sullen at all social gatherings.

"Yuki-chan, I got you this. It could help you vent any anger or frustrations you may be feeling." Yuki looked up at K and the square package the American was holding out to him. He tentatively reached out and grasped the box, staring at it for some moments before beginning to unwrap it.

"A… laptop?"

"Yes. You could write out any of the feelings you have that you don't want to talk about. It could help you… heal." K had to choose his words carefully, because anything could set Yuki off in one of his fits. Ryuichi jumped up and looked over Yuki's shoulder at the laptop.

"It's so shiny!" Yuki grimaced and shoved Ryuichi off of himself. He hated being toughed by anyone, and only permitted even a hand on his shoulder – or his own hand on someone else's shoulder – if it was Tatsuha. Even being in close proximity was enough to make Yuki nervous. Tatsuha sat next to him on the couch and leaned over slightly, careful not to invade his brother's personal space.

"What kinda stuff are you going to write on it, Aniki?"

"I don't know."

()() Present Time ()()

"Is that when you started your first novel?"

"No. I actually started with short stories for Tat-chan and worked up from there after I got my own place."

"Wow. How old were you when that happened?"

"Older than thirteen." Yuki stood up and headed to the kitchen.

"What, are you just going to leave it at that?" Shuichi demanded, following him. Before he had left the room, Yuki stuck his head back in and smirked at him.

"No. My throat's getting dry from all of the talking. I need something to drink. Anyone else want something?"

"What do you have?" Tatsuha asked.

"Um… water, beer, milk, Shuichi's juices, and tea. We also have some cold coffee left over from this morning."

"Could I have some water?"

"Sure."

"Ryu-chan and Kumagoro want juice!"

"Can you share a cup?"

"Hai!"

"Good. I'm not giving a stuffed rabbit its own cup."

()() Five Years Earlier ()()

"Aniki? Aniki where are you? Aniki?" Tatsuha wandered throughout the house, calling for his older brother, but receiving no answer. Their father was out shopping or something along those lines, and Tatsuha wanted to talk to Eiri about something. He had hoped that the lack of their father might make Eiri more willing to talk to him about it, but his brother could not be found. The eleven-year-old headed into forbidden territory – Eiri's room.

It's not that he wasn't allowed in there, it was just that Eiri seemed to want everyone to stay out of his room unless they asked and received his permission first. He had gotten into a yelling match with their father on more than one occasion concerning this little quirk of his. He had even gotten into a fistfight with Tohma about it.

Tatsuha pushed opened the door and stopped dead. There were only two things in Eiri's room. One was his computer desk – which had seen a lot of attention since he had received his laptop – and a small note on top of the desk. Tatsuha walked over to the desk and picked up the note, noticing that it was addressed to him He opened it and saw Eiri's neat, tiny script filling the paper.

Tat-chan, __

I'm sorry, but I have to leave. I can't stand being in this place any longer. Don't worry about me, I've already got my own place and a way to get to work. I've already paid the first few months for the place with the money I made on those stories I've been writing. Did I tell you that I had them published? Apparently people like my endings.

The only reason I left now is because I know Father will take care of you. Ever since I went to New York he's really begun to pay more attention to you. I'm glad of that at least. Don't worry, I won't be going too far, and I can still get in touch with you if you need me. Mika and Seguchi-san know where I live, and they'll be able to relay any messages to you from me or vice versa. I'm not really leaving you, though, I promise. If I could stay in that house I would, but I need to get out. I'm sorry I didn't get a chance to say a real goodbye to you, but I didn't want to still be here when Father got back, and I have no idea when you'll be getting home from school.

Don't forget to eat and take care of yourself. I'm sure Father won't let you die, but I want to at least remind you myself. I love you, Tat-chan. Take care.

- Yuki (Eiri/Aniki)

Tatsuha set the note down and cried. He had just managed to dry his eyes when his father walked in the door. His father didn't seem too upset that his older son had left, even though said son was only seventeen. Tatsuha immediately wrote a note to Eiri asking about why he couldn't wait just a little longer, or why he couldn't have said goodbye the day before. The next day he delivered the note to Mika, who took it to Yuki.

After almost a year of corresponding through Mika and Tohma via letters, Tatsuha received a letter saying that not only had Yuki moved, but he was inviting Tatsuha over to visit him when he got settled in. The twelve-year-old was overjoyed that he would get to see his brother again.

~

"Aniki, it's so big!" Yuki smirked at his younger brother's reaction. It was the first time the brothers had seen one another in just over a year, and Tatsuha was obsessing over the size of the eighteen-year-old's house. "Have Oneesan and Tohma seen it yet?"

"Mika has. Seguchi-san has been busy with Nittle Grasper lately. I've heard that they're thinking of splitting up, so I assume he's trying to get everything either in order, or he's trying to keep everything together."

"I guess that would make sense. Has he been bothering you lately?"

"Not really. He still gives me those creepy looks, though."

"What creepy looks?"

"The same ones Kitazawa gave me the night I killed him. Only not as menacing."

"Oh. Have you asked him to stop?"

"He doesn't give me as many as before, so I think he's falling back in love with Mika."

"Hey, Aniki? How do you pay for this place?"

"My novels."

"You write novels?"

"Mm. I've got two of them out already and another one being written right now."

"I've never seen them."

"That's because they aren't found in the Manga section."

"That's not the only place I look!"

"They aren't in a Ryuichi Sakuma shrine, either."

"I'm not that obsessed!"

Yuki laughed and spoke in a falsetto. "Oh, Ryuichi! Please accept the shirt off my back! You got two drops of water on you from the sprinklers you insisted on running through and now you're soaked! You can't get sick!" Yuki and Tatsuha both collapsed in laughter, Tatsuha smacking Yuki lightly for teasing him about his crush.

()() Present Time ()()

The story was interrupted by a doorbell. Shuichi stood up to answer it. He opened the door to find Mika standing there with her hands on her hips. "Is Eiri home?" Shuichi nodded and led the woman into the living room.

"What do you want, Mika?"

"You were supposed to meet Tohma and me for dinner three hours ago!"

"I got sidetracked."

"Why didn't you answer your phone? We've been calling for the past two and-a-half hours! Oh, hello Tatsuha, Ryuichi." Ryuichi nodded in greeting, then turned his attention to Kumagoro, talking to the bunny because the lack of story was making him bored.

"Hi, Oneesan! Aniki was just telling us about how he raised me!"

"Please just be quiet, Tatsuha. I didn't answer the phone because they've all been unplugged."

"Why would you unplug the phone?"

"This is Shuichi's only week off. I don't want it to be ruined by my editor calling at five in the morning. Besides, he's going on tour in two weeks, I'll have plenty of time to be annoyed by the phone then."

"When did you guys get to such a good relationship?" Shuichi asked, head cocked slightly to one side.

"What do you mean?" Mika questioned, wondering what he was talking about.

"Well, at the last part in the story, you and Yuki weren't really on more than speaking terms." Mika raised an eyebrow and looked to Yuki for an explanation, but he only leaned back and lit a cigarette.

"After she stopped making me go to therapy, I started getting along with her. It'll never be the same as it was when our mother was still alive, but that's to be expected."

()() Four Years Earlier ()()

"So tell me, in your own words, why you're here." Yuki looked at the man as if he were the dumbest man on the planet.

"I'm here because my nosy sister and her husband forced me to come."

"They can't have forced you."

"You obviously don't know them very well."

"Did they hold a gun to your head to make you come?"

"No."

"Then they didn't force you."

"I wasn't finished yet. They didn't, but they had their friend K do it."

"Their friend held a gun to your head and forced you to come?"

"Yes. If you don't believe me just open the door. There will be two blond men and a brunette woman. The taller blond will look American and he'll be holding at least one large gun." The doctor looked out the door, and saw exactly what his patient had described.

"Alright then, tell me in your own words why you think they made you come."

"They think I'm suffering from 'Social withdrawal due to a traumatic incident I have yet to come to terms with'."

"And you do not agree with them?"

"I'm antisocial because of a conscious choice. I don't like people."

"But you agree that you are suffering from a traumatic incident in your past?"

"No. It helps me."

"How can a traumatic incident help you?"

"It gives me a lot of things to use when I write."

~

"I'm sorry, but I cannot deal with him. If he has no desire to be helped, then he makes it almost impossible to help."

"So you're giving up on him?"

"Unfortunately, yes. I believe his record says that he has been to eight psychiatrists for this reason?"

"Yes."

"That should be a clue that he does not want to be helped."

"But you're giving up on him after only ten minutes!"

"I'm sorry," the doctor repeated and walked away. Yuki stood around the corner from them, and he smirked, hearing the defeat in his sister and brother-in-law's voices. He knew that they would leave him alone after this incident.

~

"Eiri, we're just trying to help you!"

"Don't call me Eiri!"

"If you won't go to therapy, then I'll call you Eiri. The moment you start going back to therapy I'll start calling you Yuki again. Got it?"

"Fine, Mika-_san_." Mika hung her head, upset that she had let her brother bait her again. She seemed to always be arguing with him, and she could never understand why.

"Eiri-san, please be kinder to your sister," Tohma requested gently from the driver's seat.

"Anything you say, _Seguchi-san_." Yuki's voice was bitter and resentful, so much so that it stung both of the older people into silence. The next day all of Yuki's therapy appointments were cancelled. The only thing Tohma and Mika requested was that Yuki meet with them once a week.

It was during one of those weeks that he began to get along with Mika. Suddenly their arguing became more playful bickering and less anger-filled. By the end of that year, they had reached an understanding – if unstable – point in their relationship. By that time, Yuki was nineteen, and Tatsuha was thirteen. 

()() Present Time ()()

"That was the year Nittle Grasper broke up. It was just getting to be too hard on all of them. Noriko wanted to go to college, if only to see if she could make it. Tohma wanted to concentrate his attention on a project he was working on – which later became known as NG. Ryuichi and K took that opportunity to make Ryuichi big in the United States.

"I went back home that year, too. It was my first time back in two years. Tatsuha was thrilled, but our father looked as though he would rather be selling his soul than seeing me. Needless to say, I didn't stay too long."

"Have you been to see your father since then?" Shuichi asked.

"Only when I was about to marry Ayaka. That was the first and last time since I went to visit when I was nineteen."

"Do you plan on going back anytime soon?" Tatsuha asked.

"Not if I can help it."

"Why don't you get along?" Shuichi asked.

"That's one thing I refuse to talk about."

"Oh."

"Is that all for tonight? Kumagoro's tired!" Yuki checked his watch, and sat up in surprise, knocking Shuichi off his lap.

"It's two a.m.?"

"No wonder I'm tired," Tatsuha commented.

"When did Mika-san leave?" Shuichi questioned.

"At around nine last night. She said she had to get home."

"Oh. Is that what she was saying? I though she had to go to the bathroom."

"Go to bed, Ryu-chan."

"'Kay!"

Everyone said their goodnights and found a place to sleep. Shuichi promised himself that he would see Yuki and Tatsuha's father soon and ask him about why he never seemed to care about his middle child.

~ To Be Continued... ~

A/N: How did you like it? There should be another chapter or two, so don't worry, I will explain things. I never thought I could get this far in an under-developed Gravi fic! Would you believe I still haven't written up a storyline? All I'm going on for this story is the three paragraphs I typed up to help me remember where I'm supposed to be going with it! So please tell me what you think! Reviews are always welcome! The merrier, the more welcome they are! ^^

[1] – Yes, I know he has a pink bunny.


	4. Paying a Visit

A/N: Thanks to all of you who have reviewed so far! That really makes me want to write more! Is the reason I don't have many reviews because I asked you not to flame? Is it really that bad and no one's telling me? *has insecurity issues* Anywho, here's the chapter, and I hope you like it!

~~

__

"My name is Shuichi Shindou … not little boy! If I tell you which one, it won't make any difference. "

"Yeah, well ... I don't see one so delicate going as far as suicide." 

"That's mean! Is there a reason for saying things like that and being so self-centered towards me?" 

"Because of your poor job committing murder earlier ... Do you want to know what honorable, fine, up-standing business I'm in? Well, do you?" 

"... Not really … Because I didn't think I'd run into you again." 

"I see … my criticism went to your head. Song-making youngster."

"Huh?! But you just said you didn't know what I was talking about…"

"I lied. Idiot."

Yuki woke up with a headache and a sore throat. And a cold bed. He pulled himself out of bed and into the kitchen, his dream still playing out in his head. His nightmares had finally begun to calm down, and now he began to dream about his memories of the first time he had met Shuichi and their first real conversation.

"Ohayo, Aniki! Did you sleep well?" Yuki automatically jumped back from the overly happy voice. He had forgotten that his brother and Ryuichi had spent the night. He had also managed to forget that his brother was a morning person. He was much too happy much too early to fit Yuki's personality. Yuki growled something out to his brother, and Tatsuha laughed and placed a cup of coffee in front of him. After finishing it, Yuki was more capable of human interaction.

"Where's Shuichi?"

"Oh, he left about two hours ago," Ryuichi answered as he bounced into the room.

"Any idea where he went? He doesn't have to work today."

"He said something about visiting someone and needing to speak with them about something important. I think it was something about you."

"Why would he leave this early in the morning, though?"

"Ten o'clock is early?"

"For most people that have the day off, yes."

~

"Can I help you?"

"I hope so. I'm looking for Uesugi-san."

"Yes, I'm Uesugi. How can I help you?"

"I just have a few questions for you. Um… concerning your son."

"I told Tatsuha to stay out trouble. If he damaged any of your property, I'll pay for it."

"No, no! Nothing like that! I actually came about your other son."

"Other son… other son… Oh, Yuki?"

"Do you have a third son?"

"No. But I can't say Yuki is my son, either."

"Why not?"

"He has given up his name and gone to live elsewhere. He left before he was old enough to, and even stated in a letter that it was because of me. I can no longer claim him as my son."

"Oh."

"Would you like to come in? It looks like you've had a long journey."

"Arigatou."

~

"But why did you never seem to like him? He, Mika-san, and Tatsuha-chan have all said that you didn't really pay much attention to him."

"I never wanted him."

"What?"

"I only wanted one child. Mika was that one. I didn't want any others."

"But you accepted Tatsuha."

"Tatsuha was easy to accept. I had had time to resign myself to the fact that I had more than one child by that time."

"Then why didn't you ever accept Yuki?"

"He was a hard child to accept. Too different."

"How so?"

"He looks like a European."

~

"Aniki?"

"Hmm?"

"What did Kaasan look like?"

"Why?"

"I wasn't able to tell Ryu-chan when he asked last night, and I want to know."

"Okay. Um… keep in mind that I've never seen a picture of her, and I haven't seen her in over sixteen years. I may be a little off in the details. Uh… she had long blonde hair. When she let it out of the bun she always kept it in it went down to her waist. She had bright, green eyes. She was always smiling or laughing, and when she did either of those things, her eyes lit up really bright and it looked like there were lights behind them. She didn't look Japanese at all, but she was. She was almost as tall as Tousan, but the way she carried herself made her look taller. She was the kind of person who didn't need make-up or jewelry to make herself look nice, she looked really nice without any of that stuff covering her up."

"She sounds beautiful," Ryuichi sighed.

"She was. Or at least, my six-year-old brain and memories tell me she was." Yuki shrugged.

"From the way you describe her, you look a lot like her."

"I don't think so."

"Tall, blond, light eyes, doesn't look even slightly Japanese."

"Her eyes looked Japanese. Their shape, I mean."

"So do yours."

~

"But why does that matter? If he's your son, you should love him regardless of what he looks like."

"I was beginning to. But then their mother died, and he looks like a male replica of her."

"Shouldn't that make you care about him more? If he looks like your wife, then shouldn't you love him as the closest thing you have? All of your children should be that way," Shuichi commented, trying hard to understand the man.

"That's how it should work. The problem is, he looks too much like her. I couldn't bear to look at something that looked so much like a dead woman."

"Oh… one other question?"

"What?"

"Do you have any idea why Yuki would say he wished you would hit him?"

"Yes. That's part of the reason I'd like to speak with him again."

"Then why?"

~

"Tatsuha, what are you doing?"

"Making breakfast!"

"Why?"

"You said Shuichi would be cooking this morning, but since he's not here, I figured I would try!"

"No."

"Why not, Aniki?"

"Because I don't want to spend all of my advancement for my new book on a new kitchen!"

"Oh come on! I'm not that bad!"

"The last time you came over and cooked, I had to move because the cost was too high to fix it. I had to have what was left of the house demolished."

"Was it really that bad?"

"Only my closet was left standing. I lost most of my stuff, more than half of my wardrobe, and two books-in-progress because of it. I have another three books that I'm working on right now, and I'm pleased with how they're turning out, so I don't want you or Ryuichi anywhere near my kitchen."

"I think he woke up," Ryuichi commented blandly from his spot on the counter. "In case you haven't noticed, Aniki-chan [1], we've been in the kitchen all morning."

~

"My theory is that he thought that if I hit him, I would pay attention to him. He may have a different reason for it, but that's my thoughts."

"Well, why don't you talk to him about it?"

"I'd like to, but he refuses to come back to visit."

"Who says you can't go to him?"

"I can't do that."

"Why not?"

"The people here know that he's my son. I don't want to make a scene in Tokyo."

"There wouldn't be a big scene. Well, there would be, but only because everyone would be able to meet Yuki Eiri's father."

"It just wouldn't work out if I went to visit him."

"Why not?"

"I already told you. People here know he's my son."

"Wait a second. You don't mean it like they know what to expect do you?"

"What are you implying?"

"You don't want to claim him as yours, do you?"

"Why would I want to do that. He looks too foreign."

"You're pathetic," Shuichi sneered before standing up to leave.

"Now I recognize you."

"Wha?"

"I've been trying to place you since I saw you at the door. You're that cross-dresser my freak son is in love with. I would have thought you would be done with each other by now."

"Your 'freak' son?"

~

"Mika, what are you doing here?"

"I just came to talk. Tohma's coming by in a few minutes."

"Why?" Yuki sighed as he put his head in his hands. Mika and Tatsuha exchanged looks and both smiled. Mika walked over to her younger brother and put an arm around his shoulders.

"It's okay, Eiri. If the conversation gets to be too much for you, you can always call Shuichi in."

"He's visiting someone right now. I don't know where he is."

"I'm sure he'll be back soon."

"Hello, Eiri!"

"Can't you knock, Seguchi-san?"

"Can't you call me 'Niisan'?" Tohma countered.

"Will it make you leave?"

"Probably not. I'm here as long as Mika is."

Yuki looked up at his older sister. "How can I get you to leave?" The brunette woman laughed and shook her head. Just then they heard a pounding and shaking coming from outside. Everyone looked towards the door, and Yuki allowed a small smile to cross his face. "Shuichi's home."

Everyone looked back at the blond man, certain he was crazy. Since when was an earthquake the signal of Shuichi coming? Then Yuki continued. "He's upset about something." He looked to the others in the room, mainly the ones between himself and the door. "You might want to clear a path," he advised and stood up, taking a few steps away from the door.

As soon as everyone had cleared a path between the door and Yuki, the door burst open and a pink blur slammed itself into Yuki's chest, sending them both crashing into the couch. At that moment, they understood why Yuki stood up. If he had been sitting, it was highly possible that his kneecaps would have broken with the impact of the pink blur hurled itself at him.

Then the blur became more clear and was proved to be Shuichi, who had planted himself on top of Yuki, and was squeezing the older man's neck tightly. He was also crying and sobbing something into the blond's shoulder. Yuki smiled tenderly and pushed Shuichi back slightly.

"Try that again?" Yuki suggested. Shuichi continued to sob loudly. The only difference was that what he was saying could be almost understood.

"I DON'T CARE WHAT HE SAYS! YOU'RE NOT A FREAK! You're wonderful, and nice, and responsible, and if he doesn't see that then he's just a STUPID, BLIND IDIOT!"

"Slow down, Shu-chan. What are you talking about?"

"He said you were A FREAK! And that he didn't care about you and never really had," Shuichi sniffled.

"Who?"

Shuichi finally noticed the other people in the room and cringed when he locked eyes with Mika. "Gomen," he said quietly.

"For what?"

"I… kinda gave your father a bloody nose. I think I might have knocked him out, too."

"Shuichi! Why would you do that?"

"He said all those mean things about you, and then wasn't willing to admit to strangers that you were his son, even though he said you look just like your mom did, and he would only get famous if he did claim you. Then he called you a freak and I hit him. I didn't mean to hit him that hard, though. I promise!"

"You gave him a bloody nose?"

"And probably knocked him unconscious, too."

"You BAKA!"

"Gomen! I didn't mean too!"

"You should have broken his nose! And everything else that could be broken, too!"

Everyone looked at the enraged women curiously. Yuki backed away in fear. He hadn't been too young when his mother died to remember the consequences of getting Uesugi women angry. Tatsuha, noticing the direction his brother was headed, decided it would be safest to follow Yuki's lead. Ryuichi was safe because he was Tohma's best friend, and he wasn't really involved in it at all. Shuichi was safe because he had managed to inflict even a little damage on the reason for Mika's wrath. That left only Tohma. The poor man had no idea what hit him. Mika punched him twice before storming into the kitchen and returning with a beer.

"I've put up with what he does to Eiri and what he says about him only because usually Eiri is either there to defend himself – or at least insult right back – or he's done something recently to deserve it. This time Tousan had no excuse! That's it. Shuichi, if you didn't break his nose, I'm going to. Come on Tohma!"

And with that, the human hurricane and her husband were gone. [2] For a few moments afterward, everyone in the room just stood where they were and stared at the door. Then Yuki and Tatsuha looked at each other and burst out laughing. To say that Ryuichi and Shuichi were both shocked would be an understatement.

"Gomen," Yuki laughed. "But seeing her angry about something our father did, and her being the golden child, it's just too funny. And did you see Tohma's face?" Yuki lapsed into giggles with tears streaming down his face. Tatsuha was no better off.

"I've never seen Neesan lose her cool like that. I almost expected to see fire and smoke coming out of her ears! And Tohma was… I can't believe he never saw that after all the time that they've been married!"

"Why did she all of a sudden blow it?" Shuichi asked once the brothers had calmed down enough to breathe every once in awhile.

"Maybe because she finally realized that it's not impossible to punch out our father? I've known for a long time that he's not omnipotent, but she seems to be just losing her delusional viewpoint."

"Yuki?" Shuichi asked. The blond man turned to face him.

"Nani?"

"I'm sorry to bring this up if you don't want to talk about it, but why did you say that you wished your father would hit you?"

"What do you mean?"

"In your story, when you had announced that you were changing your name you said you wished your father would hit you."

"Oh. That. That's kind of hard to explain."

"Can you try?"

"If I hadn't intended on trying, I wouldn't have mentioned it in the first place."

"Then why didn't you say anything about it before?" Ryuichi asked. Yuki stared at the thirty-year-old with a look of annoyance and appreciation on his face. Annoyance for asking so many questions, and appreciation for asking the right ones.

"I was trying to find the best phrasing for it."

"Always a novelist, huh?" Tatsuha commented.

"I guess. I wanted my father to hit me because then at least it would be real. I would know what was meant by it."

"What do you mean?" Ryuichi asked, seeing that Yuki had stopped and didn't seem to have any intention of continuing.

"Most the time he would just yell at me or call me names, or just ignore me altogether. That hurt, but I didn't know what he really thought of me. For all knew, that was just his way of relating to me. He and Mika got along, but that was bound to be different because she's the daughter. He and Tatsuha got along, but Tat's the baby of the family, and the last bit of Kaasan we have. I had no idea where or how, or even _if_ I fit. I figured that, if he hit me, I would know for a fact what his feelings towards me were.

"If he hit me hard enough to leave a dark mark, or if it lifted me off my feet, then I would know he didn't like me. But if he didn't hit too hard, then there was still a chance that he might like me. For a long time that's all I wanted."

"For him to like you?" Ryuichi asked. Yuki nodded.

"To have him not hate me. I could handle him not liking me, I didn't need him to like me, really. I just wanted to make sure he didn't hate me. I could never tell with the way he talked to me. It sounded like he was disgusted with me, but then he'd say something nice out of the blue. I was never sure about it."

"Do you still want to know?" Shuichi asked quietly.

"Yes. Why?"

"I think I might have your answer."

~~

A/N: Well, that's it for this chapter. I actually meant to end it awhile ago, but it just wouldn't let me quit writing. I'm pretty sure the next chapter will be the last one, though. Thanks for the reviews and for reading the story. Please review for this chapter, too? Thanks!

[1] – Well, he seems to like calling people by nicknames, and Tat's name for Yuki is Aniki. Also, since he's older than Yuki, it's just fitting that he calls him Aniki-chan.

[2] – I think I've been spending too much time in English class. That was an unintentional alliteration thing.


	5. Happiness Ending the Pain

"I just wanted to make sure he didn't hate me. I could never tell with the way he talked to me. It sounded like he was disgusted with me, but then he'd say something nice out of the blue. I was never sure about it."

"Do you still want to know?" Shuichi asked quietly.

"Yes. Why?"

"I think I might have your answer."

~ Chapter Five: Happiness Ending the Pain ~

"How could you have the answer?"

"I told you that I might have punched out your father, right?"

"Yes…"

"I went to talk to him earlier today. That's where I went this morning."

"And you asked him about it?"

"Not specifically, but he still gave me a pretty clear answer."

"What is it?"

"He… are you sure you want to know?"

"Do you think it's something I won't like?"

"No… I know you won't like it."

"Tell me anyway."

Shuichi sighed and hugged Yuki gently. He started to speak, not able to raise his voice above a whisper. "He said… he said he hates you. That because you look foreign he doesn't want to be seen with you, and that he didn't want you even when your mother was pregnant with you."

Yuki's eyes were unreadable as Shuichi spoke. When the pink-haired boy trailed off, Yuki looked down at him and smiled. It was a strained smile, devoid of all emotion. "Did he tell you why he didn't want me even then?"

"Because he had only wanted one child, and he already had Mika-san."

"That makes sense."

"Yuki? Are you okay?"

"Hai, I'm fine." The novelist stood up. "I think I'm going to go back to bed, though."

"Yuki, I'm sorry! I didn't want to tell you! I knew it would upset you." Shuichi hung his head.

Yuki turned back around to face the three inhabitants of his living room. He smiled at Shuichi, and some of the emotion came back into his face with that smile. "I'm not upset, Shu-chan. I brought it on myself by asking you what he said. I always suspected that that's what the reason was, I just never thought I would hear it confirmed." The other three watched as the blond man walked out of the room, then Shuichi turned to Tatsuha.

"I'm so sorry!"

"What for?" Tatsuha asked, shocked at how upset Shuichi sounded.

"I didn't mean to hurt him! I only wanted him to hear the truth! I'm sorry!"

"Shuichi, it's fine."

"Honto ni?"

"Hai. He asked you to tell him what our father said about him. Why would I be upset with you for that?" Shuichi's head lowered, and Tatsuha had to strain to hear the nineteen-year-old's mumbled reason.

"Everyone else blames me for anything else that happens to Yuki. If he gets hurt, everyone immediately points their fingers at me. Even if I had nothing to do with it, it's my fault."

"I wouldn't do that to you, Shuichi."

"Why not?"

"Well, for one thing, Ryu-chan would hate me for making you feel bad. For another thing, Aniki loves you."

"So?"

"For twelve years I was the only person that could see through Yuki into Eiri. The only reason I could do that is because I cared about him so much from the beginning. In less than three weeks of him acting like he hated you, you managed to see what it had taken Tohma four years to get past with Mika's help. Also, Aniki didn't ever hate Tohma, so Tohma had it easier than you did."

"And that's a good thing?" Shuichi asked.

"Shuichi, he loves you. You managed to see past all of his shields and walls, and you still loved what you saw there. From my understanding, he believed no one could see that much of him and still love him the way you do. Even if you do things to annoy the crap out of him, and you hurt him – accidentally or on purpose – he could never really hate you after that. Because he couldn't hate you, it makes it difficult for the people who care for him to hate you as well.

"Mika and Tohma acted like they hated you, but that was only because they didn't realize that the two of you cared about each other so deeply. If they had known that you were so in love with him, and that you had seen that far into him, into a place where only one other person has been allowed into for over a decade, they would have done nothing to ruin it for you. They would have done everything they could to make sure the two of you stayed together and happy." The brown-haired man stared at the younger two with a solemn expression on his face, making sure that both of them understood what he was saying.

"Ryuichi… I thought that Tohma loved Yuki," Shuichi managed to say.

"No. There was a small time when Tohma was attracted to Eiri's looks, but that's understandable. Eiri has never understood it, though. He doesn't realize that his looks are enough to turn anyone's head. He may act like a cocky, arrogant prick, but he doesn't even realize what his looks do to people. [1] Tohma grew out of his attraction, though. It only took about a month before he realized that it was wrong to think of his younger brother like that, especially when two older men had just raped that younger brother. From that time, Tohma took to being like a surrogate father to Eiri, making sure that he had enough to eat and was looked after. He still does that sometimes out of habit, as I'm sure you've noticed."

"I've noticed. I didn't know that was the reason, though."

"Yep. Do you have a cookie? Ryu-chan and Kumagoro are hungry!" Shuichi and Tatsuha smiled as Ryuichi's personality shifted back into the younger, more playful version. Shuichi got up to get a brownie, which was all they had in the house.

~

"Are you awake?"

"Barely," Yuki mumbled into the pillow. Shuichi stifled his laughter and walked closer to the bed, putting a hand on Yuki's back.

"Had a tough day?" Shuichi asked with a grin. Yuki returned the smile, much more comfortable now that it was only the two of them. Tatsuha and Ryuichi had left a few hours before, and Shuichi had spent the remainder of the afternoon writing new songs. Yuki had taken the opportunity to sleep, but had woken up when Shuichi walked into the room.

"Extremely."

Shuichi stretched out on the bed next to the blond. "Wanna tell me about it?"

"Last night two insane idiots – my younger brother and his idol – talked me into telling my life story. Then I woke up this morning to a cold bed, a headache, and a sore throat. I got out of bed – much earlier than I had intended, I might add – to find said idiots in my kitchen. They were kicked out of the kitchen just in time to save my house from being blown up. Then my older sister and her husband came by and we found out that a certain baka had taken it upon himself to visit and attack our father. The attacker came home apologizing, but still left me in a cold bed for hours while he doodled all over a bunch of paper."

"Sounds like you've had it rough," Shuichi said with mock sincerity. "Would you be so kind as to let the baka explain why he was so intent on his 'doodles' and not on things higher on his priority list?"

"Only if he promises not to stop." Shuichi smiled at the blond, continuing to give the taller man a massage.

"Promise. Those 'doodles' are actually my next five songs. Your story, and what happened as a result of it, gave me a lot to think about, and I became inspired. I had to get it out while it was still there. I didn't use any names, or specific events, but I guess our next album will be your story. Am I forgiven?"

"Do you plan on stopping any time soon?"

"Only to fall asleep. But I'll still be right here when I do that, so you have nothing to worry about."

"Tired?"

"Sort of." Yuki snuggled back against Shuichi, giving Shuichi his first real chance of cuddling with his lover. Shuichi wrapped his arms around Yuki and hugged, then curled against the taller man. They were both asleep moments later. As they slept against each other, a smile formed on each of their faces.

~~

[1] – Yes, I know that in the manga he thanks his father for his looks, but knowing that you look nice and knowing how those looks affect others are two completely different things.


End file.
